Thoughts for Cheri
January 9, 2004 continued:
“I was called by someone at Ninth & O about visiting a shut-in and I’m struggling with that. I don’t know why. Is it my old insecurities coming back? I was forced to do so many things I didn’t really want to do over the years and I almost feel like since I said I was interested that I have to do it now. It seems like guilt thing. But it could be Satan using that to keep me from ministering in this way”
“I guess the concern I have is that the shut-in ministry might not be what God wants because I don’t have a peaceful feeling about it. I don’t want to commit to something that is not God-lead because I think I should or out of guilt. I want to do what God has called me to do.”
“I was called by
someone at Ninth & O about visiting a shut-in and I’m struggling with
that. I don’t know why. Is it my old insecurities coming back?” I had
forgotten about this. I realize now that
I was searching for a place to belong, a place to matter, a place to feel like I
was contributing to something that was needed.
But in the midst of my search those old feelings of inadequacy and
feared reared their ugly heads. Satan
surely knows what buttons to push to keep me from stepping out in faith.
“I was forced to do
so many things I didn’t really want to do over the years and I almost feel like
since I said I was interested that I have to do it now.” I believe this is one of the main
reasons I’ve had trouble committing to anything over the years. Even today I still struggle with this. Not because I don’t want to do things but
because too often I did things I wasn’t called to do and I ended up quitting or
failing.
“I don’t want
to commit to something that is not God-lead because I think I should or out of
guilt. I want to do what God has called
me to do.” I will say that I have
in the past couple of years become more comfortable with saying no when
asked to do things. In fact I got to
where I said no to just about everything. Now I’m working on saying yes to things I really feel led
to do and being committed to see them through and do them well. It has surprised me how freeing this has
really been because I’m relying on God’s direction and not on what others or
even I think I should do. He knows me
best and He opens doors to ways I can use the gifts and talents He’s given and
to opportunities that take me out of my comfort zone and cause me to rely on
His strength and wisdom. It’s the only
way to live as a child of The King!
Father,
You are so patient
with Your child.
You understand my
weaknesses and fears.
You teach me to rely
on Your strength and wisdom.
You show me when to
say yes
and when to say no.
Thank You!
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen
No comments:
Post a Comment