The Blessing of Friends

February 8, 2004

Journal Entry:

“Up & to church.  Sat with Buddy.  Great sermon on forgiveness.  Went to Bill’s Sunday School class.  Really enjoyed it.  Went to Panera for lunch.  One of the best parts of the day was when Pat & I went to Buddy’s and sat, talked, and drank coffee.  It was nice.  Back to Pat’s and all of the family went to Longhorn for Buddy’s birthday.  Fun.  Home, talked a little and to bed.  This has been a great experience and I’m going home with new insight, strength, and determination.”

Thoughts for Cheri:

“Sunday I enjoyed church.  I sat by Buddy and that was nice.  A bunch of us went to lunch.  Pat and I went to Buddy’s, sat, drank coffee, and talked.  It was nice being with my brother and sister like that.  We took him to a steak place for a belated birthday.  We really had a good time.”

“One of the best parts of the day was when Pat & I went to Buddy’s and sat, talked, and drank coffee.”  “It was nice being with my brother and sister like that.”  I am the youngest of three (as I like to remind my siblings of quite often!).  My brother is 6 years and sister 4 years older than me.  Because of this to be honest we were not that close growing up.  In fact, because our mother worked Pat was kind of a second mom to me.  She watched out for me, something I didn’t particularly appreciate in my teen years.  And as I explained in an earlier post, because of my ex we weren’t close as adults.  It’s just the way it was.

That’s why this time with them was so special to me.  This was the first time in forever that it was just the 3 of us sitting and talking as friends.  Memories of growing up were made sweeter as we shared them.  I’m thankful we’ve had other opportunities over the past 13 years to spend time together.  It’s just nice.  They’ve become not just my brother and sister but my friends.  Please don’t ever take your siblings for granted.  They can understand you like no one else can. 

“This has been a great experience and I’m going home with new insight, strength, and determination.”  To this day I don’t understand why God has blessed me such wonderful adventures.  This was just the second (after Praise Gathering) in a long list of experiences He’s given to me over these years that have helped me to grow in my faith.  This one stands out because I connected with family in a way I never had before and because I made so many new friendships that have lasted until today.  I’m extremely grateful for this gifts from my Father.

One theme that runs through each of these experiences is God using people, places, and events in the life of this rejected child to restore and revitalize me.  This weekend is an example of little touches and big touches that have made me feel accepted and loved in a way I hadn’t been for a long time.    These people made me feel like I mattered.  To this day they call me friend.  That’s so important in life. 

In all of this I am most thankful for my Best Friend.  He is the one who makes all of this possible in my life.  He is the one who lived, suffered, bled, died, and rose again to give me life.  He is the one who at this moment intercedes for me at the right hand of His Father.  And this one is King of kings, Lord of lords, and will one day return in victory to rule the world said:

Father,

Friendship.

It’s such a beautiful word.

Thank You for the one who is my Best Friend.

Thank You for those who call me friend.

Teach me to be a friend just as Jesus is.

In His Name,

Amen.

Relationships

February 6-7, 2004

Journal Entry:

“Mary Ellen and I registered speakers and committee members-it was fun.  Supper and then the session.  Laughed and cried.  Lisa Harper is so wonderful.  I’m so thankful God gave me the opportunity to know her.  We all congregated in Catherine’s room and talked.  Good time.  Pat and I went to bed at 12:30 a.m.  Up at 6:30 a.m.  Went to Catherine’s session and she really spoke to me.   Ate lunch with Pat, Rebecca, Laura, Lisa, Tiffany, and Catherine.  Large sessions were wonderful.  I have been so blessed.  Back to Pat’s house, talked some, and to bed.”

Thoughts for Cheri:

“The whole retreat was wonderful.  God blessed me through all that happened there.  I met some wonderful people.  Several of them became very special to me:  Catherine, Wanda, Laura, Lisa, and Tiffany in particular.”

The words that were spoken this weekend were great.  But from reading my journal and my thoughts I realize the important part of this weekend for me was the relationships that were formed.  I became much closer to my sister and my niece Rebecca.  They became friends as well as family.    Catherine and Tiffany, mother and daughter, became family as well as friends.  And for the first time I met Laura and Lisa, best friends of Rebecca’s who today call me Aunt Ginny and have become my nieces.  My time with Mary Ellen and Wanda made a profound difference in my life.  I also spent time with other wonderful Christian women who all touched my life in a special way.  This was truly a blessing for someone who was craving sweet relationships. 

God created us for relationships.  He placed a longing in each of us to connect, first with Him and then with others.  We were not meant to be alone.  We were created for community beginning with Adam and Eve.

From this union came the family.  Family supported me through my struggles as I healed.  And family introduced me to many who further encouraged me on my journey.  I could not have done this alone.  I know I’m never alone because God is always with me, but sometimes I just need a person I can touch.  God has given me that in abundance.  He is so good!

These relationships have also taught me how to be a better mother, sister, aunt, and friend.  Their unwavering acceptance of me through the good and bad was an example of God’s perfect acceptance of me as I am.  Their love even when I was unlovable was a picture of God’s perfect love for me shown through the sacrifice of His Son Jesus Christ for my salvation.  The seeds sown this weekend have sprouted, bloomed, and rooted deep in my life.  It’s a weekend I’ll never forget.

Father,

You created in me a yearning for relationship.

You provided a way for me to have a loving and eternal relationship with You.

You place family in friends in my life who offer sweet relationship.

You are awesome!

In Jesus’ Name,

Amen

Hospitality

February 5-6, 2004

Journal Entry:

“Went to Mary Ellen’s.  Beautiful house.  We talked all evening.  I really enjoyed it.  Up at 7 a.m.  Slept well.  Breakfast with Mary Ellen.  Then went to Wanda’s for a makeover.  She is so sweet and I loved the makeover.  What a difference.  We did some shopping and to Panera for lunch.  Then to the retreat.”

Thoughts for Cheri:

“Pat took me to Mary Ellen’s for Thursday night.  We had a nice relaxing evening with supper, coffee, cookies, ice cream, a fire, and lots of talking.  It was good.  I slept well and then she took me to a friend’s who sells Mary Kay and I got a makeover.  Mary Ellen and Pat bought me makeup.  I have wanted to have that done for a while now.  It was fun.  We did some shopping and then went to the retreat.”

The gift of hospitality.  Mary Ellen definitely has been blessed with it.  I had never met this wonderful woman before this yet she made me feel as if I was the most special person in her life for this moment in time.  Her house was welcoming and warm.  She was truly glad to see me and to treat me with Christian love and acceptance.  It was life changing to be pampered in a way I never had been before. 

The supper, coffee, ice cream, comfortable bed, and more were wonderful but the real gift was Mary Ellen herself.  The time she took to make me feel welcome and her willingness to listen to this wounded and broken soul meant more to me that I can express.  She showed me I mattered and I needed that.

Then there was the makeover.  Mary Ellen, Wanda (another person I had never met before), and I laughed and just enjoyed the fellowship.  More pampering as Wanda treated me to a facial and makeup that suited my complexion.  This was a treat only another woman can understand. 

I made two new friends that day.  Because of circumstances I rarely see them today but I look forward to spending time with them in heaven.  They both were truly angels sent by God to minister to a broken heart.

These two women certainly obeyed Romans 12:13.  They not only opened their homes they opened their hearts and lives to a total stranger.  They took me in and blessed me in ways that still resound in my life today.  I try in my own way to pay it forward by extending mercy, grace, and love to others who come into my life on a daily basis.  We never know the difference a kind word or deed can make to a hurting heart or the difference it can make in someone’s day.  I have discovered that when I share a smile or a hug it makes my day too.  Try it.  You just may like it.

Father,

Thank You for the angels You have placed in my life.

Thank You for the hospitality and love they’ve given to me.

Open my heart and eyes to people in need so that I may be their angel.

In Jesus’ Name,

Amen.

Daily Blessings

Journal Entry February 5, 2004

“Made trip to GA-snow, sleet, freezing rain, wind, & traffic but God brought me through.  I drove a Nissan Altima-nice car.  Got to Pat’s around 4 p.m.  Rebecca and Carter were there and I met Catherine.”

Thoughts for Cheri:  

“I had a wonderful trip to GA.  I drove down in all kinds of weather except for hail.  I had snow, sleet, freezing rain, heavy rain, light rain, mist, and wind.  I also had maybe one minute of sunshine.  But I made it and I never panicked; I just kept rolling.  God took me through.  It is amazing how much more confidence I have in myself now that I am not being made to feel inept and stupid.”

Talk about a blessing from God!  This entire trip touched my life in so many ways.  I’ll be writing about it this whole week. 

First of all I want to thank my sister for inviting me to come and for enabling me to have such a wonderful total experience.  This was such a treat for someone who had not been loved or pampered for so many years.  Even today, thirteen years later I get teary eyed when I remember this weekend.

Let’s start with the trip down.  Wow!  What a ride that was!  I woke up that morning in Louisville to snow.  Picked up my car at Enterprise and headed out.  “I had snow, sleet, freezing rain, heavy rain, light rain, mist, and wind.”  I am not exaggerating.  Started with snow and as I drove south it gradually changed as the temperature rose.  What you have to know is I was constantly criticized for my driving when I was married so I was scared to drive in bad conditions.  This trip was different.  Before I pulled out of the lot I asked God for safe travel and a calm spirit as I drove.  He answered immediately.  I took my time, stayed with the flow of traffic, and all was well.  That’s why I could say: “God brought me through.” 

“I also had maybe one minute of sunshine.”  I remember this well.  Almost as soon as I crossed the state line from Tennessee into Georgia the sun peeked out for a moment and then the skies darkened again.  I didn’t know it then but it was a little glimpse of the sunshine God was going to bring into my life that weekend. 

“It is amazing how much more confidence I have in myself now that I am not being made to feel inept and stupid.”  God had done such a great work in me in such a short period of time.  I still had a long way to go, in fact I still do today because He’s not finished with me yet.  But to see the miracles He had place in my life to help me not only heal but to flourish is amazing. 

“I met Catherine.”  There are three women God brought into my life who I call the “3 C’s”.  Cheri is one, Catherine is the second.  Later you will meet Charlotte.  Catherine is my sister’s friend (and now thankfully mine!) who has spent her professional life helping others through counseling and other ministries.  In one of my previous posts I described a short phone conversation I had with her in which she enabled me to accept a time of healing so that God could fill my cup that had been empty for so long.  Her words gave me permission to just be with Him for a season without feeling guilty.  I had never met her in person so this was a treat. 

Tomorrow I’ll write more about my weekend.  For today I just want to focus on how the little things in one day can have a major impact on one’s life.  My driving in bad weather, God’s answer to my prayer, the one burst of sunshine, and meeting Catherine in person all contributed to my journey of healing.  God was replacing the years I lost myself with beautiful moments of blessing and joy.  He was doing for me just as He promised the children of Israel:

He is still doing so to this day.

Father,

Thank You for the “little” touches with which You bless my life.

Open my eyes to the mercies that are new every morning.

Enable me to daily make a small difference in the lives of those around me.

In Jesus’ Precious Name,

Amen

Drained or Overflowing?

Journal Entries:

February 3, 2004

“Better today.  Not as sad.  I’m so ready to go to Georgia Thursday.  I’m looking forward to Bible study Wednesday evening.  I’m interested to see how I am accepted.  ‘I love You!’”

February 4, 2004

“Almost didn’t but decided to go to Bible study.  Glad I did-I felt very welcome.  ‘Thank You Lord!’”

“I’m interested to see how I am accepted.”  This was important to me at the time I wrote this.  I had felt so unwanted and unaccepted for who I was for so many years that my first thought when I  entered any group situation was how would I be accepted.  My spiritual and emotional cup had been drained.  I needed to allow God to pour into me so I could heal and move on. 

“I felt very welcome.”  I rarely felt welcome anywhere any time for a lot of years.  That’s why this was such a big deal.  God knows what I need and He always provides it through people and/or circumstances.  He loves lavishing blessings on His children.

This was important then.  It was about me for a while and I learned that was okay.  However, over the years God has changed my focus from me to others.  He filled my empty tank to overflowing so that His love could flow through me to others.  I have found that instead of thinking of my own comfort or ease I want others to feel welcome and accepted.  I love greeting people wherever I am.  I love saying good morning or afternoon or just offering a smile when I’m walking my dog.  One of my favorite times during worship on Sunday is greeting.  It fills me with joy to be able to give hugs, handshakes, and kind words to friends and visitors.  I’m just obeying scripture:

I no longer allow myself to run on fumes.  I remember that Jesus would withdraw and spend time with His Father.  He is my ultimate example so it makes sense that I must do the same.  That’s why my quiet time with Him every morning is so important to me.  It’s in these moments that He pours His love, mercy, grace, peace, wisdom, and joy into my life.  And He is not stingy with this.  My life overflows with these gifts so that others can see Him in me.  That’s what being His servant is all about.

Wherever you are today in your walk with the Lord please take time to allow Him to pour Himself into you.  He’s never required that we do this thing called the servant Christian life alone.  He longs to fill us with His Spirit so that in turn we may pour ourselves into others in His Name.  What a precious responsibility and blessing that is!

Father,

I am so thankful that You don’t require me to do this thing called life alone.

Fill me each moment of each day with the gifts that come only from You.

Create in my life a fountain that overflows and touches those around me.

In Jesus’ Name,

Amen.

Gifts

Journal Entry:

February 2, 2004

“I’m still on the verge of tears.  Cried on the way home.  Rested, watched a video, and walked.  As I write this at 9 pm in bed I feel better.  God is faithful!!  God is good!  ‘I love You!’”

“God is faithful!!  God is good!”  I love how this message is repeated over and over again in my journal.  I take no credit for it even though I did write it.  Let me explain.

Everyone who accepts Jesus as Savior professes faith in Him and in God’s word.  Scripture tells us that:

That’s what faith in Christ’s life, death, resurrection, and promise of an eternity with him is all about.

Scripture also tells us that through His Spirit God gives different gifts and ministries to His chosen ones. 

⁴ Now there are different gifts, but the same Spirit.

 ⁵ There are different ministries, but the same Lord.

 ⁶ And there are different activities, but the same God activates each gift in each person.

 ⁷ A demonstration of the Spirit is given to each person to produce what is beneficial:

⁸ to one is given a message of wisdom through the Spirit,

to another, a message of knowledge by the same Spirit,
⁹ to another, faith by the same Spirit,

to another, gifts of healing by the one Spirit,
¹⁰ to another, the performing of miracles, to another, prophecy,
to another, distinguishing between spirits, to another, different kinds of languages,
to another, interpretation of languages.

¹¹ But one and the same Spirit is active in all these, distributing to each person as He wills.

1 Corinthians 12:4-11

I know now that one of my gifts is faith.  Since childhood I’ve just always known that God is going to take of me.  This kind of faith has been defined as simple confidence in the promises of God.  That doesn’t mean that my life will be perfect and if you’ve read any of this blog you know that’s so.  It does mean that whatever my circumstance He’s in control and He’s taking care of me.  It means that I can look at a situation and see possibilities and not difficulties.  I rely on prayer first and doing what God leads me to do after I pray. 

Looking back over the life I’ve lived I’m amazed at the things God enabled me to accomplish even in the most difficult times.  It’s because He gave me this gift of faith that I’m where I am today.  I hope that in sharing my story, in encouraging others, and in living the life He’s given to me others can see His mighty hand in my life and trust Him to do the same in their life.

My sister told me one time that “she lived her faith” needs to written on my tombstone.  I hope that’s true but all the glory goes to the Giver of good gifts, not to me.  I just hope He enables me to share that faith and hope in the days He’s numbered for my life.

I think this quote sums it up nicely:

Father,

You are such a loving God.

You do not leave Your child alone to accomplish Kingdom tasks.

Your Spirit gives to each of us the perfect gift(s) we need.

Teach us to use these gifts wisely to draw others to You and to build Your Kingdom.

Thank You!

In Jesus’ Name,

Amen.

My Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Journal Entry:

February 1, 2004

“Good worship, hard day.  I’ve been crying-I feel abandoned and alone, even at church.  I feel like no one cares.  I know better but I don’t have anyone special-a friend-in my life.  I didn’t even feel accepted at church today.  I wonder if Satan is attacking me to keep me from hearing God.  It won’t work.”

"Feel."  Feelings can be good things.  Without feelings we may be harsh and cold towards others.  Love, joy, and peace are feelings that bless our lives.  However, Satan often uses feelings to feed us lies.  This is what he was doing to me.  I know now that, yes, he was attacking me to keep me from hearing God.  Satan uses every tool possible to keep us from the love and acceptance only found in our Heavenly Father.  His tactics are so different from the ways God treat us.

In this case Satan was attacking me in many ways.  His lies were causing me to believe no one cared.  He still does that sometime today but because of my experiences over the years I’ve learned to recognize his tricks and I’ve learned to

When I hear Satan whispering lies to frighten, confuse, or discourage me I rebuke him in the name of Jesus.  It works.  He cannot stand against our Lord and Savior. 

If your faith is in Jesus Christ, the next time you experience the weapons of Satan remember what only God can do.  He stills, reassures, calms, and comforts you and so much more if you just rely on Him. 

That day in February 2004 when I was feeling so abandoned I still knew that God is stronger than Satan and able to keep me.  That’s reflected in “It won’t work.”  Even in the midst of a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day my faith overcame the evil that was meant against me.  I claim the promises found in His word and He is faithful.

So how do you handle a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day?  Give it to the One who cares.

Father,

You blessed me with feelings that delight my soul.

Satan distorts those feelings to discourage me.

Thank You for Your promises that help me overcome his attacks.

Thank You most of all for the power that is found in the Name of Jesus.

In that blessed Name I pray,

Amen.