Taken

 

Journal Entry

April 6, 2004

“Better today.  I’m reading a book that Catherine recommended about being freed from bondage.  It’s already impacting me.  I felt something today when I was reading-a loosening.”

“Bondage.”  When I read this it makes me sad and glad at the same time.  I was a Christian all those years of my marriage which means I had freedom in Christ.  However, I allowed myself to be in bondage to someone who didn’t love me and who certainly did not have my best interests at heart.  That makes me sad. 

As I reflect on those years I see how God kept me safe from so many harms that could have affected me in so many ways.  One of the first things my sister and friends had me do after learning what my ex had been doing was to see a doctor.  There were many health issues that could have come from his activity.  I remember feeling at peace even before the results showed I was okay.  Somehow I’ve just always known that God would take care of me no matter the circumstance.  I love that He blessed me with that deep a faith.  That makes me glad.

I see opportunities such as graduating from college, going to seminary, serving in so many different areas of ministry, and so much more given to me over those years.  I was willing but God was and is able.  He does love me and has my best interests at heart.  That makes me glad.

“I felt something today when I was reading-a loosening.”  This is an interesting comment.  To be honest I don’t remember this so I’m glad I noted it.  I’m grateful for the many ways God touched my life to break those chains that kept me from truly living.  In this case Catherine took her time to recommend a book she knew would make a difference in my life.  The thing is, she could recommend it to me but I had to listen to her advice and read it for myself for it to truly impact my life.  The same is true of God’s word.  Other people can tell me what they think it says but until I take the time and effort to read it for myself I’ll never really get it.  God speaks to me personally when I read it.  His word touches the immediate and precise areas that need His intervention at different times.  Because:

During these years God was breaking the chains that held me captive.  As I healed I was drawn to the life cycle of the caterpillar and the butterfly.  The caterpillar is in a kind of bondage when compared to the butterfly but its true bondage comes in the form of a cocoon.  Isn’t it something that being confined in that small chrysalis is what leads the caterpillar to true freedom as a butterfly?  It just takes time, patience, and a willingness to struggle to free itself.  It’s the struggle that enables the butterfly to soar on beautiful wings.  That’s how I see my life.  The years of my marriage were caterpillar years.  The years since have been cocoon years as I’ve allowed God to change me followed by the struggle to emerge into the beautiful life He’s prepared for me.  I think this picture beautifully represents what God is doing in my life.  This makes me joyful!

Father,

You have set me free.

Teach me to live like it.

In Jesus’ Name,

Amen