Surrender

Journal Entry:

August 10, 2003

“Good day of rest.  Went to Bible study and worship.  Home and just spent the day relaxing.  Talked to Hal, Tim, & Tanya.  They are such good kids!  I woke up during the night and felt led to get on my knees and surrender to whatever God is calling me to do.  I still don’t know what it is but I am willing. ‘Father, guide me.  Help me to show Your love and to work well.  I love You!’”

When I started reading through my next entries I was planning to cover at least one week’s worth.  I stopped on the 6^th & 7^th sentences on the first day.  When I wrote this I truly was seeking God’s will for and call on my life.  I just knew there was something special and big that He had planned for me.   That may be true but if it is I haven’t found it yet.  He and I have had many talks about it over the past 13 years.  We still do quite often.  Yet in those talks, in things I’ve experienced, in doors that have opened and closed, and just in daily living I’ve learned a little about His will for my life.

I love words.  I enjoy writing even if no one ever reads what I write. (I will admit that sometimes it gets discouraging to not get any feedback on what I write but that will not keep me from writing.  I try to remember Who I’m doing it for each time I sit down at my computer.)  I often lose track of time while I’m writing, especially when it’s a devotion, a piece about what God has done or is doing in my life, or for this blog.  I love sharing with people the miracles big and small with which God has blessed my life.

 I took an online writing course which I enjoyed very much.  I’ve had one devotional published in Mature Living Magazine.  I’ve submitted other things to magazines and contests with negative results.  I’ve been told I should and thought about writing a book but the attempts I’ve made have been less than satisfactory.  To be honest, so far the desire to that is not within me.  Most of the time I’m happy with writing on Facebook, my Facebook page, the website Mentoring Moments.org, and for this blog.  So even though I’ve wondered at times if a paid career in writing is in God’s plans for my life I don’t sense that right now.

A few years after my divorce I found online a young lady who was a Christian Life Coach.  I spent a wonderful weekend with her and it helped me more than I can say.  I even flew to California for training and met the woman who started this ministry.  I’m sure I’ll write more about this experience in later posts because that trip had a major impact on my life.  However, I did not become a life coach.  I tried.  I printed business cards and everything.  I even had a couple of clients but it didn’t last.  That door closed tightly.

Along with the life coach thing I felt like God might want me to be a Christian speaker to share my testimony.  I prepared and put that on my business cards too.  I publicized this in every way I knew.  I did speak at women’s events a couple of times and it went okay.  At this point in my life I would have to say God has effectively closed that door.  If He were to reopen it I’d go through it but I truly don’t have the desire to do this anymore. 

0ne year after my divorce God led me to Porter Memorial Baptist Church in Lexington Kentucky where I was hired as a ministry assistant to the Single Pastors and the Senior Adult Pastor.  Other than it being God’s will for my life, I’m not sure why this happened.  A few years later I also became the church receptionist.  Presently I’m the receptionist and work with Senior Adults.  I enjoy my job.  It’s like every other job; it has its good days and it has its bad days but I’m thankful for the opportunity God has given to me.  I’ve met so many wonderful people and had so many great experiences since I’ve been here.  I know this is where I’m supposed to be.  At this point in my life this is God’s will for me.  I love helping, encouraging, loving on, and sharing my life with these people.  This is my ministry and I am grateful for it.

I guess what I’m trying to say about finding God’s will for your life can be summed in this verse:

As I look back at my journal entry all those years ago I realize that what I did that night in surrendering to God’s will is something I must do every day of my life.  Sometimes I have to surrender multiple times a day.  I’ve even had days when it’s been minute to minute.  I’ve learned that if I’m following Micah 6:8 I don’t have to wonder what His will is for my life.  I know it’s to live every minute of every day walking with Him while I love and encourage others.  It’s sharing Jesus through my words and actions each day.  It’s getting up when I fall, trying again, and giving Him all the glory when success comes.  One day if He does have something “big” for me to do He’ll open that door in His time.  However, I have come to realize that what the world may see as big is no better or different in God’s eyes than the faithful “little” things His child does every day in service to His Kingdom.  Because in the end no matter what we do:

Our Father,

which art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy will be done in earth,
As it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,
The power, and the glory,
For ever and ever.
Amen.