Guiding light.

God’s guidance day by day.

Journal Entry from April 22, 2003

“Went to Bible study.  Good meeting but not sure I belong at R.V.  Thought I was sure but am still seeking.  ‘God, please show me where You want me to be.’”

April 24, 2003

“Rough day-probably my lowest.  Cried, felt abandoned.  Went to house and packed up kitchen stuff.  My pastor called and asked me to stop by.  Spent 2 hours there-poured out much hurt and poison I had inside.  He informed me of some things that were happening.  Listened to H.’s ‘confession’ before the church.  It was his same old blame others.  I need to move on.  I am looking at an apartment in Bardstown tomorrow.  ‘Lord, help me make the right decision about where to live.’”

April 25, 2003

“Went to employment agency while I was in Bardstown.  Sat there 45 minutes waiting and Spirit working in me-I was in the wrong place.  Called apartment and cancelled appointment to look.  I am moving to Louisville and staying at my job for a while.  I am also leaving R.V.  H. needs it more and the Pastor can help him if he will allow it.  I feel much better and right about this decision.  I am going to look for an apartment but my main focus this next week is my daughter’s wedding.  ‘Lord, thank You for working in my life.  Please help me to follow You always.’”

We can’t just sit around waiting for God to tell us what to do.  Often it is in the doing of something that we hear His voice or see His hand and know what to do, which way to go.  If I had just sat around Ann’s wringing my hands and crying out to Him I would still be there. (Not really!  Ann’s sweet but she would have kicked me out long ago I’m sure).  It’s in taking that first step of faith no matter how difficult or scary it is that we show God we trust Him and we really want an answer.  It’s also in being willing to get up and walk out when His Spirit moves in us. 

Noah had to gather the materials and build an ark.

Abraham had to get up and leave his home. 

Moses had to leave the sheep in the desert and return to Egypt.

The Israelites had to leave the only home they’d ever known and journey to the unknown.

Esther had to enter the presence of the king without assurance she’d live to tell about it.

Mary had to believe an angel who gave her a fantastic promise.

Joseph had to risk ridicule and believe the angel who told him to marry his betrothed.

The apostles had to leave their livelihood and follow this man called Jesus.

Saul had to trust the very ones he’d been persecuting.

Ananias had to minister to the one who had been persecuting fellow believers.

Throughout history we see those who took one step of faith and then another.  Some of them did great things.  I’ve know many saints over my lifetime who served faithfully and quietly one step at a time.  Their names and deeds will not be noted by this world but when they stand before their Savior and King their reward will be great.  It’s not the size of the deed, it’s the faith shown in the life lived.  I’m learning not to worry about what God calls me to do daily.  I’m learning to be open to opportunities to obey and to make a difference no matter the size. 

As I look back on those few days I see God’s hand that eventually led me to where I am today.  I know without a doubt that on this day, June 27, 2016 I’m where I’m supposed to be doing what I’m supposed to do.  It may change tomorrow but that’s one of the best joys of serving God.  I don’t have to worry about tomorrow because He’s got it in His hands.