The Night Before My Personal Tsunami

Journal Posting April 3, 2003 @ 9:40 p.m.

Written the night before my marriage ended:

 “I am so afraid.  I am so concerned about my husband.  God has been telling me to walk by faith today and I choose to do so.” 

“I am tired-God led me to Isaiah 40:31.  He will renew my strength.  He will comfort me.  I lay my burdens at His feet.  I rest in His unfailing love.” 

“With all the miracles God has already done, He can surely take care of me.  He is my light, my life, and my salvation.”

“I ACCEPT AND DESIRE GOD’S WILL FOR MY LIFE.”

Isn’t God good?  When I read these words His love just washes over me anew.  Seeing how He was preparing and protecting me before the fact amazes me.  Today when I wrote this entry on this blog I capitalized and underlined the last sentence because it amazed me that I said this.  When I wrote it I didn’t know that my world was about to fall apart.  I’m thankful that I did know that the One who holds me in His hands is faithful when my world crumbles.  That’s the faith I believe those nine words express.  No matter what, God’s will is best for His child.

When I went to bed that Thursday night in 2003 I didn’t realize that my heart was prepared for the tsunami that was going to hit the next day.  I just knew God had me safe in His keeping.  If you reread my journal entry notice how I progressed in a few sentences from “I am so afraid” to “I accept and desire God’s will for my life”.  I realize now that was God’s Spirit moving in me and reassuring me of His presence and His provision.  It’s a perfect picture of Psalm 56:3:

           I give myself no credit for this except for the time I spend with God each day even now.  It’s in developing that deeply personal relationship with Him that our strength in difficulty is found. The more time I spend with God the more I know Him and the more I trust Him.  My desire to know Him grows deeper each day.  What a joy it is to be His child!