Friends

June 9, 2003

“Not a great day.  I was sad all day and it really hit when I got an emails from two friends in the afternoon.  I had let them have it earlier and they still love me.  Went home and cried till I had a headache.  That evening both of them emailed me and one called.  Hal called too.  God is so good.  I’m learning how to express my emotions since I have never been allowed to do it.  ‘Lord, help me to remember You always love me and to be able to express my emotions in a positive way.’”

June 10, 2003

“Good day!  People at work told me I’m looking great.  Accomplished some things at home.  Got address mailed to people.  Lawyer emailed.  H. wants to give me a lump sum instead of maintenance.  Okay but I asked for more in lump sum.  One of my friends who emailed me yesterday called-nice talk.  She had stopped by but I didn’t hear her.  I was in the bedroom.  I’ll have to watch that in early evening.  ‘Lord, please be with me.  Help me to walk the path You lay out for me.’”

June 11, 2003

“Another long day at work.  I’m thankful to have a job but I pray God will soon lead me to a better one.  Ladies Bible study was great-this is a neat bunch of ladies.  They are so caring.  “Lord help me to follow Your lead.’”

Quote for the day:  “I’m learning how to express my emotions since I have never been allowed to do it.”  This was just the beginning of my lessons in this area.  I had such a long way to go.  Still learning as a matter of fact.  When I said I let my friends have it that means I lit into them for not contacting me for a period of time, for not checking on me.  I remember feeling lonely and forgotten; just like I felt for most of my marriage.  I think the years of bottling up my emotions and my anger were starting to erupt like a volcano.  After I had done this I firmly expected to lose their friendship.  Thankfully, they are both lovely Christian ladies who understood and forgave and still love me today.  Even though because of location I don’t see either of them at this time I do know if I ever need anything that they are friends for life.  They taught me what true friendship is.

Then there’s the matter of the lump sum agreement.  At the time I didn’t really thing about it but looking back I see God’s hand in this too.  My kids were grown so no custody or child support needed.  This man had controlled my life for so long that I needed to be released from any contact with him.  The lump sum did this.  I no longer had to allow him any access to my life.  I’m sure his motive was not to make it easier or better for me but that’s what happened.  His influence over my life was by no way over.  I had a long hard battle to fight to freedom.  However, this was an important step in that process.  It was so totally a God thing and I’m so grateful.

Lastly there’s the statement about my job.  I did like my job okay.  I worked with some nice people and, of course, the best part was Tanya was there.  However, I felt like I needed a change.  New life, new job.   Again, in looking back I see God’s hand in this desire.  It would be some time before He provided the perfect job for me because He still had work to do in my life right where I was.  And what a work He did in that next year!  I’m excited about looking back at this time of healing and moving forward.  I can’t wait to rediscover all that God did in my life during this time. 

In this posting the main lesson I see is how God uses earthly friendships to give us a taste of our best and true Friend.  He’s the one who gives us the love, compassion, and caring to be the kind of friend who love no matter what.  I am so thankful to have Jesus Christ as my Friend!  John 15:15

Father,

Thank You for friends who have taught me what it means to be a friend.

Thank You for truth, love, compassion, grace, mercy, and acceptance as lived out by my friends.

Teach me to be the kind of friend who loves unconditionally.

In Jesus’ Name,

Amen