What Do I Want Counseling To Do For Me?

October 28, 2003

Cheri asked me to think about the following:

“What do I want counseling to do for me?  What do I want to be like?

“What do I want?  I want to be a whole person.  I want to be the ‘me’ God created me to be.  I want to use the talents, gifts, abilities, and personality He have me to serve Him by serving others.”

“I want to be a strong, God-reliant, God-dependent woman who can make decisions without being afraid.  I want to be able to face up to, take responsibility for, and correct when possible, mistakes I may make.”

“I want to be a strong, God-reliant, God-dependent woman who can make decisions without being afraid.  I want to be able to face up to, take responsibility for, and correct when possible, mistakes I may make.”

“I want to be willing to take risks even though it may mean failure.  I want to please God and not be a people-pleaser.  I want to be firm in my beliefs and my convictions and able to express them without fear of being rejected.  I want to know that even if everyone else rejects me, God will not!”

“I want to know I am a woman of worth.  That I matter; I count!  I want to feel a part of life instead of this terrible and lonely detachment I have lived with for so long.”

"I want to release the shame and guilt I have carried for so long and rest in the assurance that God has forgiven me.  I want to forgive myself.”

“I want to be a friend.  I don’t want to be needy, self-serving, desperate, or self-conscious.  I want to be caring, genuine, and loving.  I want to be firm, honest, and reliable.  I want my word to stand for something.”

“I want a sense of belonging; that I am not on the outside looking in.  I want to experience life, not just wish I could, I want this sense of belonging and this life to come from God.”

“I want to lose this sense of abandonment and not be afraid that people will abandon me if I do something to upset of anger them of if they get to know the real me.”

“I want to trust people while also having the wisdom that comes from God to know when I should not trust someone.”

The words in green reflect a God-given ache in my soul.  He is the ultimate Counselor and His Spirit was guiding me every step of the way.  However, He chose to allow His children to join in His kingdom work and be His hands and feet, or in this case, His ears and mouth.  He brought Cheri into my life to listen to my words and to give words that would help me heal and thrive in life.  That’s our mission because that’s what Jesus did.  We’re to be like Him.  I’m grateful that Cheri chose to obey God’s leading in her life.  She certainly touched mine in a very special way.

The words in blue sum up what I desired from counseling.  How I knew what I needed is such a gift from God.  Cheri once said that I had been made to feel invisible and Pat told me that my voice had been taken from me.  Yet here I was able to articulate quite well I think just what I needed and desired.  That can only be from God.  There’s no other explanation.  He placed these thoughts and desires in me through the presence of His Holy Spirit.  What a precious gift!

When I read this I see a woman who yearned to be the person God created her to be.  I see a woman who trusted Him to bring this about in her life.  I take no credit for this.  It comes from faith that was instilled in me before I was in the womb.  I am just thankful for His gift.

Father,

Thank You for the gift of faith.

Thank You for the gift of Cheri.

Thank You for the gift of the Holy Spirit.

Just Thank You!

In Jesus’ Name,

Amen