Journal Entries:
December 1, 2003
“I am sad today. Cried tonight. I will not let Satan win-I will trust in God! ‘Lord, I am clinging to You. Please help me. I love You’”
December 2, 2003
“I am struggling. I feel sad & angry & tired. I want to quit trying. I desire to learn to rest in the Lord. ‘Please help me, Father! I love You!’”
I love the ebb
and flow of life. I love that God gives
us good days in the midst of the hard ones.
As I look back over this first year after my divorce I see times of such
deep sadness and anger and weariness. That’s
what these days represent. “I am sad
today. Cried tonight. “I am
struggling. I feel sad & angry &
tired. I want to quit trying.”
However, I also
see God’s hand on my life even on these difficult days. “I will not let Satan win-I will trust in
God! ‘Lord, I am clinging to You. Please help me. I love You’ I desire to learn to rest in the
Lord. ‘Please help me, Father! I love You!’”
I assure you these words did not come from my own
strength. I know me better than anyone else
does. I remember how helpless and sad I felt
back then. That’s why going back and
reading my journal has lifted my spirits and amazed me so much. I see God’s hand in every part of my life. The words I wrote reflect His loving presence
even at my lowest points. I am so very
thankful for the faith that has carried me through some dark and difficult days.
I know this is
a familiar psalm but if you're hurting today please read it slowly and allow the words and the images
to wash over your weary soul:
When you go
through a deep valley, and you will if you are still breathing, the faith you’ve
developed over time is what will carry you on your way. Even when you feel like you’re alone, IF you
have trusted in Jesus as Savior AND Lord of your life you are never alone. THE Shepherd is right there with you.
I’m not just
spouting pious words. I’ve lived this. Not just years ago either. I’ve lived this in the past week when I walked
through a valley of feeling forgotten and uncared for. I knew I wasn’t because I have so many people
in my life who love and care for me that there’s no way this could be
true. However, sometimes the pain and
fatigue from my fibromyalgia and arthritis beat me down and Satan whispers in
my ear that I don’t matter to anyone. God
knows better and He provided just what I needed.
The night that I
felt the worst my sister and my daughter called me. As soon as I heard their voices the tears
came. They let me cry and listened to my
heart. They didn’t tell me I shouldn’t
feel that way but assured me of their love and concern. I was still in pain and tired but my spirit
was encouraged.
If you’re
hurting today please know God loves and cares for you. If you ask Him to bring someone into your
life to help you, He will. He Himself
will be there if you will in faith call out to Him. Don’t allow Satan’s lies to bind you. It just takes a spark of faith to ignite the
flame that can grow into a burning passion for knowing and serving God. Let His Spirit light the fire of faith in
you.
Father,
I don’t know why You
love me like You do but I’m thankful!
Please touch the
lives of hurting souls in the world.
Allow them to
experience the joy that comes from faith in Jesus Christ.
In His Name,
Amen
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