Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Pink Tennis Shoes

On Saturday April 5, 2003 I awoke to a different world.  A new day brought a whole new life for me.  For the next few days I didn’t write in my journal.  I did spend a great deal of time talking to God and He listened.  I remember a sense of calmness and well-being those first few days.  Later I will share times of despair but I know God protected me whatever my situation.
That morning “that man” (as my family took to calling him) needed to come in, take a shower, wash his clothes (I certainly wasn’t going to do that anymore!), prepare food for the next week (again, not me!), etc.  I shut myself up in the office while he was in the house.  I needed time to begin processing things and I couldn’t do it in his presence.  My circumstances may have changed but my need to protect myself and withdraw had not. 
Looking back on it I’m able to see one of the things that happened while I was sitting in the office in a humorous light.  He actually came in the office and asked me if I was ready to walk around the house and divide up the furniture.  The day after his bombshell!  Amazing.  As I remember my response was, “No, leave me alone!”  And he did.  I never did do that.  When I moved out I just took what I wanted.
That morning my son, daughter and her fiancée, and our pastor and his wife sat around the dining table talking.  I don’t remember much of what was said but I do remember my pastor saying, “We expected you to be more upset.”  To be honest, although I was sad there was a sense of relief because things hadn’t been right for so long and I didn’t have to pretend any more.  Yes it hurt but I also felt like that after holding my breath for so long waiting for the other shoe to drop it had and I survived.  I could finally breathe. 
After they left I didn’t want to stay at the house while he was there so I jumped in my car and drove to my friend’s house.  I couldn’t find anyone at home so I drove to the nearest town.  I had no idea where I was going but somehow I ended up at Walmart of all places.
I need to share a little background before I tell you what I did at Walmart.  We never had much money while I was married.  I always felt guilty when I bought anything for myself and would not spend much on clothes, shoes, or anything else.
Back to my story.  There I am wandering around Walmart with no particular purpose in mind finally ending up in the shoe section.  I decided to try on shoes and ended up buying a pair of pink tennis shoes.  Don’t ask me why tennis shoes.  I believe there must be some psychological reason for this purchase but today I see an act of defiance or independence by a woman who just needed to vent. By the way, I never did wear those shoes! 
I couldn’t go home knowing he was there at least till Sunday afternoon.  I decided to drive back to my friend’s house to see if I could find her.  She welcomed me with open arms.  We sat sat side by side on her couch as I told her everything.  She was angry and upset for me and very kind and caring to me.  I told her I dreaded going home so I ended up sleeping in a recliner in her living room.  The kindness and respect I received from her family is something I will never forget. 
We didn’t have cell phones and I had no way to let my kids know where I was.  To be honest I really didn’t think about them being concerned about me.  I just need refuge.  Sometime that weekend the phone rang and my friend said, “Yes, she’s here.”  My son who was in Virginia found me in a house in the country in Kentucky.  When I asked him how he said, “I have my sources.”  That’s all I ever got out of him.  In retrospect I’m sorry I worried them but it’s nice to know someone cared enough to track me down.
I returned to the house Sunday evening.  My world may have changed but I still had to go to work on Monday.  One of the best things about my job was that my daughter worked at the same place so I would not be alone when I shared what had happened with my co-workers.  My son, daughter, and I came together that evening to love and support each other.

As I look back on this weekend I see God’s presence in every moment.  I didn’t fall to pieces.  Even my Walmart shoe purchase gave me a sense of control over my own life.  I believe He placed in my mind the thought to go to my friend’s house where I found love and shelter.  He blessed me with a calmness that was seen by others.  I think of Isaiah 43:2: 

The waters were deep but I was never alone.  God held my hand, guided my steps, and provided who and what I needed just at the right time.  As you will see, He has done so to this very day.  The journey has been one of mountains and valleys with a winding path but He has led me every step of the way.  His hand has never let go of me and His love has surrounded me in ways that I could never have imagined on that weekend in April 2003.  I wouldn’t have missed the trip for anything and I’m looking forward to sharing my memories with you.  I pray you may be blessed in some way if you choose to walk down memory lane with me. 
Tomorrow:  Monday comes

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