Small Deeds

Sometimes it’s the smallest deeds that make the biggest difference.

Journal entry from April 21, 2003

 “Made a dentist appointment for tomorrow at 12.” 

Why in the world would I take note of entries concerning a dentist appointment?  There is a story behind this amazing fact.  Here it is:

In my marriage one didn’t go to the dentist just for checkups.  One didn’t go to the doctor unless you were extremely ill.  It cost money and illness was not tolerated very well.  We were not supposed to ever get sick.  It became a normal way to live.  My kids didn’t go to the dentist till they were grown.  Sad but true.

Over the years I had been to the dentist 2 or 3 times to have a tooth pulled.  When we separated I had a broken tooth that had never been looked at because it didn’t cause me any pain.  The sad thing is I worked for an insurance company that provided me with dental insurance.  I still couldn’t go to the dentist.

As soon as I was in charge of my own life I decided to have my teeth examined (not my head which I needed too!  That came later.).  There was an all-woman dentist office right down the street from our office so I decided to go there.  At that point in my life there were not too many men I trusted so I certainly didn’t want to go to one I didn’t even know. 

Journal entry from April 22, 2003 

”Went to the dentist.  Good experience.  Several problems but not as bad as I expected.” 

I remember this first visit as being a pleasant experience which is not the usual reaction when you go to the dentist.  I explained my situation to the dentist who was so very kind.  Because my teeth had never been cleaned she divided my schedule into 4 appointments doing ¼ of my teeth each time.  She only charged me the normal for 1 cleaning.  Set up appointments over a 2 week period for my cleaning.  I remember feeling cared about when I left there.  It was a great feeling.

Journal entry from April 29, 2003

“Dentist appointment was good-they are so nice.”

Journal entry from May 12, 2003

“Went to dentist-had broken tooth fixed.”

Journal entry from May 19, 2003

“Got 2 teeth filled.”

Journal entry from May 29, 2003

“Went to dentist for check-up-Sonja said I’m doing great; I’m a prize patient!”

Journal entry from June 3, 2003

“I went to the dentist and they were wonderful.  They are so nice.  They had me dip my hands into paraffin-it felt so good.”

Journal entry from June 17, 2003

“Went to dentist and got crown put on-I am finished!  PTL!  They are so nice!”

It was always a pleasant trip.  One thing I remember in particular is something Sonja, the dental hygienist said after I told her a little about my treatment during my marriage:

“I tell you what.  You just bring that man here and put him in my chair and I’ll show him what pain is!’

She made me laugh.  I needed that.  Looking back this is one of the Godwinks I see from that difficult time.  Sometimes the little things mean the most when the way is sad and difficult.

Why am I sharing about my dental experience on this blog about my journey after my marriage ended?  I had lived with abuse and neglect for so long that this kind attention touched me a very deep place.  The simple kindnesses done by the staff at this dentist office soothed my hurting soul like a healing stream rushing over and through me.  I see it as the beginning of God’s healing in my life.

When I look back on the small and big kindnesses done for and to me during the hard years I understand why it’s so important to me to be an encourager.  You never know when a welcome word, a sweet smile, a hardy hug, or a helping hand might be just the thing someone needs to make it through that day or even that moment.  I know because I’ve lived it. 

If I can help somebody I will not have lived in vain.