One Week of Living this New Life:
Journal Entry May 4, 2003
“Went to SECC and after to a Chinese restaurant with Bob and Hilda. They are so sweet! Went to Walmart to get Tim a UK pillow and went to his surprise party. (Friends gave him a surprise apartment warming party). It has been a good day but I’m scared and sad. ‘Lord, please help me to take one day at a time—to do what I can today and not worry about tomorrow.’”
May 5, 2003
“Went to look at an apartment-smelled awful. ‘Lord, thank You for each new day—help me to use the time You give me wisely.’”
May 6, 2003
“Tanya called—she is ‘wonderful’. I am so thankful! Talked to my lawyer-doesn’t look great cause of all of the debt. I have to list my expenses and what I am taking (from the house). She is going to try to get me what she can. Talked to Pat and then cried and prayed. This is so hard! ‘Lord, please tell me what to ask for.’”
May 7, 2003
“Found an apartment on Six Mile Lane! 1 bdrm & washer/dryer. I am applying for it tomorrow. ‘Lord, please let Your will be done. Be with me as I apply for the apartment and go to the doctor Thursday.’”
May 8, 2003
“Eventful day. Went to gynecologist. I really like her. Had tests and checkup. Will do more tests later. I will find out about apartment tomorrow. ‘Father, I want Your will only.’”
May 9, 2003
“Apartment manager called. I got it-move in 2 weeks PTL! ‘Thank You Lord for the trials and victories. Help me to trust solely in You. Thank You for the people You have placed in my life. Bless each of them’”
May 10, 2003
“Good day-got mail at Mt W., activated bank card, did some shopping and walked through Meijer’s dreaming and planning. Went to Dollar Tree-it is great. Spent rest of day at Ann’s. Read, watched TV, filed my nails, took a bubble bath, and lathered on lotion. Polished nails while I listened to a Max Lucado book. Just a wonderful relaxing day. ‘Lord, thank You for time to rest. Be with me as I worship and learn tomorrow.’”
Sunday through
Saturday. Interesting week. So many new experiences:
- Chinese food-not a fan but found something I liked.
- Meeting friends of Tim I didn’t know.
- Foul-smelling apartment.
- Talking with my married daughter.
- Consulting with a lawyer about alimony.
- Renting an apartment.
- Having a nice relaxing day doing just what I wanted to do without feeling guilty.
I’m thankful God is leading me
down this memory lane. Being reminded of
how I did call out to Him and how I did depend on Him daily for whatever I needed. He never let me down. In fact, He showered me with unexpected gifts
of mercy and grace. He protected me
every day.
The May 8th
entry about the gynecologist has an interesting back story. I hadn’t been to one since I’d had surgery in
1978. After my sister and friends heard
about H’s lifestyle they insisted I get checked. I was extremely nervous and resisted but
their insistence won, thankfully. Of course,
like with the dentist, I wanted a woman doctor.
And like with the dentist her office was close to work.
Note: All of my tests came back fine. God’s protection again!
I was treated
with the utmost respect and kindness by everyone in this office. The concern they showed for my health and
welfare did much to renew my faith in people.
I had never lost my faith in God but it was extremely hard for me to
trust other people because I’d had to guard my words and actions for so
long. The small steps I made in this
week were just the beginning of a new life God had already prepared for
me. The thing was, I had to take those
steps. God didn’t force me to do anything,
He just opened the doors for me to go through.
It has been
reassuring to discover that I didn’t blame God.
I don’t remember asking Him why this happened to me. I take no credit for this. I know He knew what was going to happen in my
life and through His Spirit He prepared me over the years. I do remember needing Him so desperately
every day. That has not changed. Thirteen years later I still need Him
desperately and am still clinging to the faith and hope found in Him alone. This verse expresses what we must do all the
days of our lives:
Father,
Remind
us daily that it is in You we find hope.
It
is only You who never fails us.
Remind
us daily of Your word that says:
Because
God wanted to show His unchangeable purpose even more clearly to the heirs of
the promise, He guaranteed it with an oath, so that through two unchangeable things,
in
which it is impossible for God to lie,
we
who have fled for refuge might have strong encouragement to seize the hope set
before us.
We
have this hope as an anchor for our lives, safe and secure.
It
enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain.
Jesus
has entered there on our behalf as a forerunner,
because
He has become a high priest forever in the order of Melchizedek.
Hebrews
6:17-20
In
His Precious Name!
Amen
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