Loved & Cherished

May 23, 2003

“Work was slow.  I had my hair cut and highlighted and my eyebrows waxed!  First time ever.  Signed apartment lease and paid rent!  Worked in apartment-felt sad-I know that is natural.  I am excited at new possibilities but sad at the death of my marriage, bad as it was.  I am also scared.  I am learning that God is my Husband and He will take care of me-He CHERISHES me!  I want to depend on Him. ‘Father, thank You for always being faithful.  Please be with me tomorrow.  It’s going to be a difficult day.  Keep us safe and help us to get everything done.  I love You.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.’”

I never felt cherished or even loved in my marriage.  I felt like I was always trying to earn his approval and love.  That’s a sad way to live.  Love is not something earned; it is something given freely.  Isaiah 54:4-6 is one of my favorite passages of scripture:

“Fear not, for you will not be ashamed;
    be not confounded, for you will not be disgraced;
for you will forget the shame of your youth,
    and the reproach of your widowhood you will remember no more.
For your Maker is your husband,
    the Lord of hosts is his name;
and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer,
    the God of the whole earth he is called.
For the Lord has called you
  like a wife deserted and grieved in spirit,
like a wife of youth when she is cast off,
    says your God.”

God is my Husband.  This journal entry reminds me to be grateful that He proved this to me so early in my journey.  This promise has carried me through many a twist and turn over the years.  I could list numerous ways He has proven this over the last 13 years alone.  I’m sure as I continue reviewing my journals I’ll mention many of them.  However, the most important way He’s proven this is by assuring me daily of His love for me.  He’s done this in a myriad of ways but there is one that has touched me the most over the years.  

One of the things I miss most because of living alone is being hugged.  Even though he didn’t love me he did hug me from time to time.  Touch is so vital to a human.  It’s amazing to me the number of times I’ve cried out to God when I’ve been sad, scared, or lonely and I have physically felt His arms wrap around me.  I hope you’ve experienced this at least once in your life.  If not I encourage to deepen your relationship with Him by spending time in prayer, Bible study, and worship.  When you have a real and deeply intimate relationship with Him you feel His presence.  That’s all there is to it.  Then you can just ask for one:

And He will answer.

I was “a wife deserted and grieved in spirit, like a wife of youth when she is cast off”.
 Now I know that I am loved and cherished by the One who gave me life on earth and died so that I may have life eternal.  I didn’t have to work to earn His love.  It is freely given.  What joy this brings to my heart!

Lord,

How can I thank You for keeping Your promise to be my Husband?

Remind others who have been deserted, grieved, and cast off that they too are loved by You.

Answer them when they cry out for a hug.

In Jesus’ Name,

Amen