Thursday, September 15, 2016

CLINGING

                 CLINGING
 
Last sentence from e-mail to Cheri concerning Praise Gathering:
“Anyway, it was a wonderful experience.  I know I have been on the mountaintop and that I am so vulnerable to Satan.  Please pray for me.”
Journal entry:
E-mail to Cheri from October 15, 2003
“Cheri, this is an email I sent to my friend Judy.  I just wanted to let you know how I as feeling at this time.”
“Judy, I’m sorry there is no prayer today.  I just don’t have the energy.  I am so tired of the struggle.  I expected this after the mountaintop experience of this weekend and with the test today.  I feel very alone today.  I am clinging to the hand of God and that is all that is keeping me going.  I know you are very bust but it seems like everyone in my life is very busy and I have no one.  Satan is working overtime and all my energy is going in to resisting him right now.  Please pray when you have time.  I keep asking God when this aloneness will end and I will have someone to do things with and to talk to and to share with.  Apparently it is not time yet.  Maybe I will talk to you later.  I just feel abandoned now (I know I’m not, I just feel it).”
“Cheri, I know this too shall pass.  I just want it to pass quickly!”
October 15, 2003
“Rough day-I knew Satan would attack.  God has reminded me that He is with me!  He is so good and knows just what I need.  My second and painful mammogram look ok-I will get results Monday.  Quiet evening at home.”
My friend Judy and I had begun e-mailing each other in the morning with prayer.  It was such a blessing to me.  However, this day I just couldn’t do it.  God understands there are times when we can’t pray.  There are no words or no energy left to do so.  That’s the way I was. 
The music, speakers, and fellowship at Praise Gathering was so wonderful and uplifting that I knew Satan was waiting to pounce.  And pounce he did.  Satan is very subtle in his attacks.  He hits us each at our most vulnerable time area of life.  He can’t read our minds but he knows from our words and actions where to strike.  He knew I was feeling tired and lonely so he used that to discourage me.  I’ve found that when I’ve been through a mountaintop experience I’m tired.  Sometimes wonderful times sap your energy just like hard times do.  I was so susceptible to Satan’s attacks.  The thing I had going for me was that I knew it. 
“I know I have been on the mountaintop and that I am so vulnerable to Satan.  I just don’t have the energy.  I am so tired of the struggle.  I expected this after the mountaintop experience of this weekend and with the test today.  I feel very alone today.  Satan is working overtime and all my energy is going in to resisting him right now.  Rough day-I knew Satan would attack.”
“I know.”  Awareness is half the battle.  It’s when Satan catches you off guard that you’re in trouble.  That’s why Peter told us to:
This is why you stay in the word.  This is why you hide His word in your heart.  When Jesus was being tempted in the desert He answered Satan with scripture.  If the Son of God chose to use scripture to defeat Satan shouldn’t I do the same?  If I don’t know it, I can’t use it.  My favorite thing to say to him is “I rebuke you in the name of Jesus Christ.  I belong to Him.  I’m covered by His blood.  So you can just go away and leave me alone.”  It works.  Satan cannot stand against the name of Jesus!
“I am clinging to the hand of God and that is all that is keeping me going.  Please pray when you have time.  I keep asking God when this aloneness will end and I will have someone to do things with and to talk to and to share with.   God has reminded me that He is with me!  He is so good and knows just what I need.” 
“Clinging.”  Psalm 63:8 is one of my favorite scriptures: 
What a beautiful promise this is!  It’s balm to a weary vulnerable soul.  I am not alone.  My soul is safely clinging to my Savior and He is holding me in His mighty hand.  What a safe place to be!  Nothing can pluck me from Him.  NOTHING! 
I love the fact that this weary child of God knew even then that He would not fail her.  Even at my lowest points I just knew He was with me.  I take no credit.  I give all the glory to God who loves me with an everlasting mighty love. 
 

I stand amazed in the presence of this One who loves me so much!
Father,
Your word protects me from the Evil One.
My soul clings to You through the sacrifice of Your Son.
What an amazing love You have for me!
Thank You!
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen


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