Gratitude Matters

E-mail to Cheri about Praise Gathering continued:

“Pat and I attended 3 of the small sessions together and that was really good for us.  As an aside, this may show something of what my life has been like before.  Hilda told me on the way up there that Pat had told her she feels like she has her sister back again.  I didn’t realize how much his attitude had estranged me from my family.  Pat told me that if I had still been with him, she would not have asked us to use the tickets because he would have complained about everything.  She is right.”

This blog posting is about gratitude.  Gratitude for my family and friends who loved me through the tough times.  Family who loved me even when they didn’t know what was going on and even when they resented some of my actions/attitudes.  Remember, I hid what was going on in my marriage very well.  He didn’t hide how he felt about things.  He rarely enjoyed the times we were with my family.  He did complain about everything they did.  What time we ate, watching sports, going places, you name it, he didn’t like it.  Yet, they kept on loving me. 

I'm thankful that Hilda shared Pat's words with me.  It's wonderful to have a special relationship with my sister today.  I do regret the fact that my parents didn’t live long enough to see the Ginny I am today.  I love life, I laugh, I cry, I express my feelings in a healthy way (most of the time!).  I have fun when I’m with my family.  I know this would have improved my relationship with them just as it has with the rest of my family.  

I think it actually began at Praise Gathering.  Even though there were sad times that weekend I believe this is when I began to open up to them, to share some of myself in a way that I had not done in a long time.  It was also the first time in a long time that I felt like I belonged somewhere.  I was with people who loved and accepted me just for me not for who they wanted me to be.  It was freeing.  I so very thankful for this.

I am thankful because God gave me this weekend with family and friends as a springboard to dive headfirst into my counseling with Cheri.  This wonderful experience prepared my heart, mind, and soul for the difficult work we were about to begin.  I say we because Cheri walked every step of the way with me and family and friends prayed every step of the way for me.  For the first time in a long time I didn’t feel alone.  This weekend showed me that even when I feel alone God is always with me.    That’s something to be grateful for every day of my life.

Gratitude changes your attitude.  The ultimate gratitude belongs to God because in the end everything that matters comes from Him.  Any time we say thank you we are really thanking Him.  Remember:

Father,

Thank You is not enough to express my gratitude.

I pray that the way I live my life will show You my appreciation for all You’ve given to me.

Teach me to share more and more the gifts with which You’ve blessed me.

I do love You so!

In Jesus’ Name,

                                                                             Amen