Champion

CHAMPION vs. pretender

Thoughts for Cheri cont.:

November 11, 2003

“Guilt is another issue we discussed.  This is something I think I need to talk about with Cheri.  I realize I felt guilty for what happened to my family.  However I also know that I avoid anything that might make me look or feel guilty.  I’ve had a hard time admitting when I was wrong or I did something wrong.  No matter how big or small the mistake.  I always tried to cover up or blame someone or something else.  Part of this stems from the early experience.  However, my marriage contributed to this.  I lived with a man who was never wrong; it was always someone else’s fault.  Also, he go so angry whenever the kids or I make a mistake.  He scared me.  I would lie to protect my kids and myself.  Then I felt guilty about that.  I know that Satan has used guilt to bind me and to keep me from serving God.  I am learning how to reject him when he brings up issues that I have dealt with by confessing them to God.  I know that God has forgiven me.  I have also asked God to reveal anything in my past or present that I need to confess and to be forgiven for.  He is doing this in His time and His way.  He knows my heart and He knows when the time is right and what I can handle.  He does not make me feel guilty; He makes me genuinely sorry and He forgives and cleanses me.  Guilt is not from God; conviction, repentance, and cleansing are.”

I see in this entry one of the major differences between the way God treats His child and the way Satan attacks the child of God.  Guilt: “a bad feeling caused by knowing or thinking that you have done something bad or wrong”.  Conviction: “to convince of error or sinfulness”. 

“I know that Satan has used guilt to bind me and to keep me from serving God.”  Guilt is a negative emotion that cause one to seek to hide what they’ve done, just like I wanted to because I feared the consequences.  Usually they were far worse than the deed itself.  Guilt doesn’t change anything.  Guilt produces a heavy weight that drags down the spirit and destroys a life.  Guilt enslaves the soul.

“He knows my heart and He knows when the time is right and what I can handle.  He does not make me feel guilty; He makes me genuinely sorry and He forgives and cleanses me.”  To be convicted of something is a positive experience.  At least it is for me.  When I’m convicted by God, and yes it still happens because I still sin, the Holy Spirit leads me to confess and repent, or turn away from, that wrong.  Then God’s forgiveness pours over me like the freshest of showers and I’m clean.  Conviction leads to a lifting of that heavy weight and a freedom of my soul that is indescribable. 

Over the past 13 years God has revealed many things I’ve carried for too long.  He doesn’t beat me over the head with any of this.  He lovingly allows His Spirit to bring to mind forgotten sins of commission and omission; things I did I shouldn’t have done and things I didn’t do that I should have done.   When I look back I see how He takes the time to prepare me through prayer, scripture, sermons, etc. before reminding me of these things.  He never blind-sides me.  Yes, there have been tears and yes I’ve had to forgive myself more than once on occasion.  Thankfully, He forgives me once and for all the first time. 

I know that when things I’ve been forgiven for come to mind it’s not God, but Satan who is trying to guilt me all over again.  I’ve learned to rebuke him and trust the God who forgives and forgets. 

If you truly belong to the Lord through the sacrifice of His Son don’t allow Satan to beat you over the head and to enslave you all over again with his guilt trips.  This undermines what Jesus did for us on that cross.  He gave His life for you and for me.  There is nothing you can do to lose that salvation once you truly accept Him.  Don’t let Satan tell you differently.  He’s a liar who is LIKE a lion prowling seeking whom he can devour.  He cannot harm God’s sheep.  Jesus is THE LION of JUDAH who has overcome evil in this world and protects His sheep from all harm.

Father,

Thank You for using conviction and not guilt to change me.

Thank You for the gift of once and for all forgiveness for my sins.

Thank You for the sacrifice of You Son who made it all possible.

Thank You that THE CHAMPION defeated the pretender once and for all.

In His Name,

Amen.

 P.S.  I read back over this and felt like I needed to add something.  I no longer blame my ex or anyone else for any of this.  If someone else was at fault I wouldn’t need to be forgiven, would I?  I made my choices over the years.  I allowed myself to be fooled by Satan into thinking that I had to do this to protect myself and my kids.  The truth is, and thankfully I’ve learned this, God is the only One I need to depend on.  He will protect me in any and every situation.  That doesn’t mean bad things won’t happen.  I will suffer the consequences of my own and others bad choices.  But my soul, who I am, is safe in God.  This life and its troubles are temporary.  Life with God is forever and trouble free.  Hallelujah!