The Pain in this Journey We Call Life

Today’s post is a little different.  It’s from January 15-February 24, 2004 journal entries.

“Tanya is emotional-may be pregnant.”

“Tanya’s pregnancy test was positive.  She will call doctor tomorrow.”

“What a day.  Everyone at work knows about Tanya and are happy for her.”

“Tanya still experiencing nausea.”

“Tanya doing okay.”

“What a day!  Tanya is bleeding-called doctor-ultrasound at 1 p.m.-talked to doctor around 3:30-there is a sac but can’t see baby.  0-10% chance of delivery.  Roger called-on way to hospital-Tanya bleeding heavily.  They gave her pain med and said cervix closed.  Will miscarry but hadn’t started.  She’s in pain but ok.  Long day but Tanya is ok and God is in control.”

“Tanya still cramping but home.”

“Tanya talked to doctor and he wanted to look at blood work from the other night.  Then she had to go to his office and give more blood.  Won’t know anything until tomorrow.”

Feb. 24: 

“The baby is gone.”

I asked Tanya for permission before I shared this because it was quite a traumatic time.  I had experienced a miscarriage with my first pregnancy 32 years before so I knew how much my baby girl was hurting.  It is true that it hurts more when your child suffers than when you do.  You want to change it but you can’t.

This is how I know God hurts when His child suffers.  He watched His own Son suffer and die for me.  He actually had to turn His back on Jesus because He is a holy God and cannot look on sin.  Since Jesus took upon Himself the sins of all people of all times God had to look away from Him while He hung on the cross.  

We suffer because of the sin and evil that is rampant in this world.  Jesus suffered because He loves us so much.  He could have said “No” but He choose to say “Yes” and offer redemption to all of humankind.  Because of this my sins are covered and God never has to look away.  He sees, He cares, He comforts.

God hurt when He saw my daughter suffering.  He hurt when He saw me suffering years before.  So why doesn’t He just protect those who truly believe in His Son from pain and sorrow?  Wouldn’t that be nice?  Well if He did how would we are to be His hands and feet be able to minister to a lost and dying world?  How could we ever understand what a person is experiencing when he/she walks through the valley of the shadow death?  Scripture tells us that:

I can testify that God has walked with me through every trial, every moment of suffering, every moment of grief I’ve ever experience in my life.  I know there are those who think I’m crazy for believing but you see, I don’t just believe, I know.  I have a relationship with my Father and He never lets me down.  He never promised the journey would be easy; He did promise He would be with me every step of the way.  He’s never failed me yet. 

Because of God’s faithfulness in my times of trouble I am better able to understand and walk beside those in my life who suffer pain, sorrow, and loss.  It is true that you don’t really understand what someone is going through unless you’ve been there yourself.  I understand the pain of miscarriage, divorce, and the death of loved ones because I’ve been there and done that.  Best of all, my Savior understands and helps me comfort others.  This is our calling in this world, to join others in their times of trouble and introduce them to the One who cares the most.

God is also a God who restores.  In December of 2005 a precious baby girl was born to my baby girl.  Eleven years later I cannot imagine life without her.  She brings joy and smiles to the faces of all who know her.  She is truly one of God’s blessings from Heaven. 

Jesus Christ walked on this earth experiencing the same troubles we do today.  He chose to allow Himself to be sacrificed in a painful and excruciating death so He could identify with and give me eternal life.  He did the same for you.  Please if you don’t know Him today seek Him and He will be found.

           

Father,

I don’t pretend to like the pain 

I’ve experienced in my life.

I do know that it’s in those times 

I’ve grown in my faith.

I also know it’s in those times 

I’ve learned to be a comfort to others.

So thank You for the hard times.

Most of all, thank You for always being with me in this journey of life.

In Jesus’ most precious name,

Amen.