My Ultimate

Thoughts for Cheri

March 29, 2004

“Right now what I really want to do is to find a place or a way to develop my writing.  This may mean classes or maybe just taking what I have written over the past months since I have been in counseling and see just what God makes of my efforts.  That is an interesting thought!  I think it was Evelyn Christenson who wrote about being led by go to write about a particular subject.  She didn’t know where to start but as she looked at random notes she had written over time she discovered an outline and her book came together.  Maybe God has given me a book in all of the things I have written.”

“At this time in my life I need a purpose and I want it to be God’s purpose.  Maybe my purpose right now is to do as Catherine said.  I need to empty myself of 30 years of pain, bitterness, and tears.  I need to allow God to cleanse me and to begin to fill me to overflowing with the blessings He has for me.”

“I just know I want to experience everything God has for me including the pain because if it is from Him it is for my good.  And if it’s not from Him He will shield me if I trust Him to do so.”

“I have said that I feel like I have been in the wilderness or desert for 30+ years.  Isaiah 43:19 says that God is making a road through the desert and a river in the badlands.  This is His message to me that He is working in my life.  I am ready.”

“Right now what I really want to do is to find a place or a way to develop my writing.  This may mean classes…”  I could have written this today.  I actually did take an online writer’s course several years ago and enjoyed it immensely.  I learned a great deal from it.  I think it’s made a difference in how I write for this blog and in other instances.

‘…or maybe just taking what I have written over the past months since I have been in counseling and see just what God makes of my efforts.  That is an interesting thought!”  Okay.  This is what I’m doing 13 years later.  I’m taking what I was writing and expounding on it.  I have considered doing this in past years but when I would try I found I just wasn’t ready.  I find it interesting that I’m ready now that God is giving me time to do more writing.  We’ll see what happens.

“I think it was Evelyn Christenson who wrote about being led by God to write about a particular subject.  She didn’t know where to start but as she looked at random notes she had written over time she discovered an outline and her book came together.  Maybe God has given me a book in all of the things I have written.”  That’s the way I feel right now.  I do feel led to write about lessons learned from my marriage, divorce, and journey to healing.  I’m excited to see how God leads me in the coming weeks and months. 

“At this time in my life I need a purpose and I want it to be God’s purpose.”  I need God’s purpose in my life at every stage.  Another lesson learned over the years is that purpose changes; the reason for that purpose doesn’t.  The ultimate purpose should be a desire to please God and to serve His kingdom.   God gives His child unique talents and gifts to fulfill that ultimate purpose in various ways at different times.  That’s what matters in this life.  His word tells me that:

“Isaiah 43:19 says that God is making a road through the desert and a river in the badlands.  This is His message to me that He is working in my life.”  God has been and is working in my life.  He cares about every aspect of my day, every happening that affects me. 

I went to lunch after writing the above and spent time thinking about this.  The ultimate purpose of every follower of Jesus Christ must be to make His name known.  Everything I do or say should reflect this purpose.  That sounds difficult maybe but I don’t think it is.  Whether it’s a smile, a friendly word, a hug, or a gentle response in a harsh world I can let people see Him in me.  I really want the words I write to reflect my faith in Jesus and to lead others to want to know this One who died so that we might have life.  Otherwise they are just empty meaningless drivel.  I want people to know by my words and deeds that I’ve been with Jesus.

Father,

I hope that my words and deeds reflect my relationship with Your Son.

Instill in me the desire to be more like Jesus.

In His Precious Name I Pray,

Amen.