Friends

When I began writing this blog I chose to not use names of anyone who is not family.  However, as one stage of this journey draws to an end and another begins I feel like I need to thank several of those who walked through this with me

This blog is about friends; friends who didn’t abandon me when it might have been easier to do so.  I didn’t use names because I hadn’t asked them if I could.  Last week I contacted a few of them and requested their permission to use their first names.  Thankfully they said yes.  There are many more who supported me in various ways but these four went above and beyond in their love and support.

Terry and Monnie.  He was pastor at our rural church when my world changed forever.  They were actually friends with my husband and myself before all this happened.  We were both very involved in church work at this time.   After we separated the actions of my ex affected the small rural church we attended in a not so nice way.  I won’t go into detail but Terry and Monnie were attacked unfairly because of things that were said and done.  They stood the course and followed God’s word in every way.  There were at our house the day after my marriage ended loving me and offering me support.  Monnie is one of the friends who visited me quite often in my apartment and they invited me into their home.  They even let me borrow a couch for the first year of apartment living.  They encouraged and supported me in so many big and little ways while they were experiencing difficult times themselves.  I’m so thankful for their friendship.  I’m also grateful that even though I don’t see them often I can still count them as treasured friends to this day.

Judy.  What a friend.  I hadn’t even known her that long.  We met in our Sunday School class and really were just becoming good friends when everything happened.   It was to her house that I went on the day after my ex.’s announcement that he wanted a divorce.  She and her family took me like a long lost relative.  She listened, cried with me, fed me, and let me stay all weekend.  It was a place of refuge and rest.  Two weeks later at Tanya’s wedding when we realized we had forgotten the ingredients for the punch, Judy left the wedding, drove to a grocery, bought what was needed, and came back and made the punch!  Then she helped serve at the reception.  I don’t know if I’ve ever adequately thanked her for that.  I was certainly no help; I was just trying to enjoy my daughter’s special day before I fell apart.  She’s also one of the friends who visited me, met me for lunch or supper, emailed me, and prayed with me in that first year.  Judy and Monnie are the two friends that I first expressed anger with and then feared they wouldn’t have anything to do with me anymore because that’s what I’d been conditioned to believe.  What did they do?  They firmly but lovingly responded to my words and our friendships deepened.  Like Terry and Monnie, I don’t see Judy these days but I count her friendship as a treasure that will last.

Ann.  I knew this sweet lady through my sister and her husband.  We weren’t really what I would call friends, more like acquaintances.  Yet, this wonderful woman allowed me to invade her home and live in her basement until I found an apartment.  She graciously welcomed me, encouraged me, did things with me, and loved me when I so needed it.  Ann is a widow who shared her life, home, and wisdom with me for 7 weeks.  That’s a long time to have someone you barely know in your home yet she was always gracious and kind to me.  During this time she became not just my sister’s friend, but my friend as well.  Seeing how she had overcome and thrived in her life after the death of her husband was such an inspiration to me.  I once told that when I grew up I wanted to be just like her!  Like the others, I don’t see her often but when I do I count it as a blessing.  She’s another treasure in my life.

These blessings from God all exemplify the qualities of a friend:

Their love, faith, and support gave me a firm foundation on which to begin my new life. In Romans 12:15 Paul says to “Laugh with your happy friends when they’re happy; share tears when they’re down. (MSG)  This is exactly what Monnie, Terry, Judy, and Ann did for this wounded soul.  I am so thankful that God in His mercy and grace brought this people into my life just when I needed them.  Their examples of being a true friend taught me how to be one today. 

I can’t close without saying there were others whose friendships carried me through this time.   Most of them will come up in later postings because of entries I made about their love and support.  The lesson we can learn from this is that no act of love or kindness is too small or insignificant in this life.  We never know when a kind word, a smile, a hug, or a warm welcome will be the one thing a person who is hurting remembers years later as a healing balm to their soul.  We are the instruments God has chosen to be His heart, hands, and feet in this broken world.  I’m so grateful for those who took the time and made the effort to show His love to this broken and hurting child of God. 

Father,

I don’t have the words to express my gratitude for the friends with whom You’ve blessed me.

Most of all I thank You for my Best Friend, Jesus Christ.

Thank you for the friends who have been His heart, hands and feet to me over the years.

Help me to be a friend to others as they have been to me.

In Jesus’ Name!

Amen.