Quiet Joy!

Journal Entries:

August 3, 2003

“I really enjoy being at my apartment.  PTL!  ‘Father, thank You for a place of refuge.  Help me to open my heart to others who are hurting.'"

August 6, 2003

“Good uneventful day, the best day I’ve had in years feelings wise.  No feelings of stress or fear or sadness-just joy-a quiet joy and peace.  ‘Thank You Lord!’”

August 7, 2003

“Woke up with a sore big toe.  Went to the Immediate Care Center.  Doctor said it was infected-opened it up-gave me medicine-said to soak it.  He was a very kind person.  Went home, soaked it, and to bed early.  ‘Father, thank You for doctors, medicine, and healing.  Thank You for pain that lets me know something is wrong.  I love You, Lord!’”

August 8, 2003

“My toe is already better.  Oh yeah!  I finally got my paperwork from the divorce so I can get my name changed!  PTL!”

August 9, 2003

“Finally I have my name changed on my driver’s license, bank account, credit cards, and insurance.  Now I feel like I can get on with my new life.  ‘Father, thank You for new beginnings.  Please show me Your plan.’”

This was an interesting week.  Except for the toe infection (and even that had a bright side to it) it was a good week.  I pulled a few comments that represented the major happenings this week. 

I’m very thankful that God gifted me with my apartment as a place of refuge from the storms that threatened my life.  I remember it as a place of quiet and healing.  I could express all my emotions without fear of being ridiculed or punished in any way.  He listened and responded to my cries.  He gave me times of laughter, tears, joy, sorrow, pain, healing, and so much more.  As usual, He gave me exactly what I needed when I needed it.

I love this entry from the 6^th.  “Best day I’ve had in years feelings wise.  No feelings of stress or fear or sadness-just joy-a quiet joy and peace.”   Wow! That must have been a great day.  I don’t remember it particularly but am grateful for the gift of days and weeks like this because they made the difficult days and weeks more bearable.   I boisterous joy-filled day or even moment is wonderful but there’s something special about a quiet joy that fills my heart and soul.  It’s such a gift from God.

The infected toe was even a gift.  Yesterday I wrote about not feeling cared for when I got sick.  I remember going to have my toe treated and feeling so cared about by the staff there.  It gave me a sense of mattering to someone even if it was a stranger.  That was important to me at that time.

The paperwork.  I had decided with my kids blessings to go back to my maiden name.  I had never felt like I belonged in the family that bore my married name so it seemed right to do this.  I felt stuck in limbo between two worlds. I was divorced but I couldn’t move on until I could change my name.  Finally I could take another step towards my new life.

So the lesson I’m seeing in these entries is that God knows best what we need and when we need it.  Believe me, there are difficult days ahead for this girl as she moves into this new life.  I’m excited about being reminded of God’s presence and provision in those days.  I’m loving that fact that He’s still present and providing for me today.  He never stops. 

Father,

I’m so thankful for the quiet joy You’ve placed in my life.

I’m so thankful for the ways You provide for me in my life.

I’m so thankful for the good and bad days in my life.

All of this is given by You to me to fulfill the plans You have for me.

Thank You!

In Jesus’ Name,

Amen.