Journal Entries
July 25, 2003
“Good day. Had safe trip to and from Winchester to pick up Pat. Had good talk on trip. Stopped to see friend I stayed with before I moved into my apartment. Home. Tanya, Roger, and Wayne were already there. Good visit. Then Pat and I looked at pictures and talked. ‘Father, thank You for family.’”
July 26, 2003
“Spent the day with Pat-went shopping, got shelves for bedroom and living room and other nice things. Sam’s-stocked up on paper good, etc. Went to birthday party with Bill’s family. Felt sadness. Spent the night in Winchester.”
This is going
to be a little different because it’s written to and about my sister. I don’t have the words to express how much
both Pat and Bill (her late husband) have meant to me over the years. From when I was little (she is 4 years older
than me!), to when she met Bill when I was 16 years old, through the years of
raising my kids, through my divorce, and all the years since, Pat & Bill
were the ones I knew I could count on when I really needed someone.
When we were
young our relationship was like most big and little sisters.
Pat always looked out for me but
I didn’t always appreciate it. In fact,
in my teen years I usually resented it because (believe it or not) I didn’t
want her to tell me what to do or how to do it.
Mom and Dad both worked so she was in charge. I just didn’t want her to be in charge of
me. I could take care of myself quite
well thank you! We had some interesting
shouting matches, mostly about how and when to clean the house or do other
chores Mom left for us to do. It’s in
looking back now that I see how much she did for me in my growing up
years. I wasn’t easy to raise! When she and Bill began dating he took me in
too and treated me like his little sister.
After we were
both married we were still family and she and Bill were still there for me even though we
weren’t close. I do know my kids had many
opportunities and other blessings because of Aunt Pat and Uncle Bill. Uncle Bill was the best example of who
and what a father should be for my kids.
When I had major surgery Pat kept my kids while I was in the hospital and
let me stay with her for a week since there was no one to take care of me at
home.
I know I didn’t
appreciate her enough in those years. I
think part of it was because I was just trying to survive for my kids and
myself. I didn’t feel like I could share
what I was going through with anyone, not even my family. I didn’t take part in
certain activities or do certain things because of my husband. I just thought that’s the way it was supposed
to be. Even though she didn’t know or understand
why I acted the way I did, she still was there for me and my kids. That’s love.
To list
everything Pat and Bill did for me and my family in their growing up years
would fill too many pages. I do know
that each and every gift of time, money, material item, etc. is written in our
memory banks and remembered with love and appreciation.
Then April 2003
happened. My world fell apart. My kids were grown and on their own for which
I’m thankful. As I wrote earlier, Pat
showed up to encourage and support me and she’s been there for me ever
since. I really don’t know where I’d be
today without the emotional, physical, financial, and spiritual help given by
her and Bill over these years. It hasn’t
been all roses and sunshine. We’ve had
our disagreements but she stuck by me as I learned to express my feelings and
my needs in healthy ways. She provided
not only her love and friendship but introduced me to her friends who helped me
in a myriad of ways.
I enjoyed so
many experiences I’d never known because of their encouraging spirits and
generosity. Gaither concerts, the beach, buying a house,
swimming with dolphins, women’s conferences, an on-line writing course, a trip
to California, just to name a few. The
last one is major because I flew by myself from Lexington, KY to California. I didn’t think I could do it but Pat and Bill
both encouraged and supported me. This
was one of the first times I knew I could make something of myself with God’s
help. I have tears in my eyes as I type
this. It’s overwhelming!
Then in 2013 something
happened that changed our relationship again.
In February our friend Molly and I were in Georgia for a women’s
conference at Pat’s church. We had a
great time with Pat, Bill, daughter Rebecca, and her family. Friday night Pat, Molly, and I came home
from the conference, said good night to each other and Bill, and went to bed. We didn’t know Bill would, in his sleep, leave
this world and enter Jesus’ presence early that morning. This man was the rock of our entire family
and he was gone. It was
a tough time for our family. Still is.
Because of this
I became my sister’s support. Although
the circumstances were different many of the struggles she has walked through
as a widow are similar to my struggles as a divorcee’. I’ve been blessed to be able to listen, cry,
laugh, and support her in many of the ways she did me. We both know we have someone we can reach out
to when no one else will understand. We
have a bond we didn’t have before.
Neither of us would have chosen to be bonded the way we are by the
circumstances that caused it. If we’d had a choice we’d have chosen more
pleasant circumstances to bring it about but life doesn’t let us choose. I do think she’d agree with me about how
grateful I am for the relationship we have and the experiences we’ve enjoyed
over the last 13 years. At least I hope
she would. I’m especially grateful for
our shared faith in God because that is the foundation of our hope that carries
us through each day.
Today we’re
both older and a little (I hope) wiser.
We walked through many joys and sorrows. We've made memories to last a lifetime. I’m thankful to know that I have a sister I
can count on being there for me and that I can be there for when she needs
me. My sister is truly a gift from God.
Father,
You have blessed me
in so many ways.
Thank You for my
sister who has become my friend.
Bless her in every
way with Your presence and love.
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen
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