Journal Entries: Highlights
September 29, 2003
“Talked to Hal and Tim today. Tanya brought me homemade chili for lunch-Roger made it. God has blessed me with wonderful children! ‘Thank You Lord! I love You!’”
September 30, 2003
“Sad day. God is working in my life-I know it and I trust Him. “I love You Lord!’”
October 1, 2003
“Tim called and asked me to make chili this weekend-feels good to be appreciated and needed. I didn’t make it to Bible study-for some reason I cry on Wednesday nights and being in that group doesn’t seem to be what I need right now. I’m really ready to get counseling going. I need to concentrate on it and on spending time with God in the evenings. Just God and me. ‘I love You Lord!’”
October 2, 2003
“I realize now that the middle of the week is a sad time for me. I’m so ready to get on with counseling-I want to be healed in every way. I need to slow down and let God work. ‘Help me to hear Your voice alone, Father. I love You!’”
I highlight the
thoughts I’ve written down to help me understand what was happening in my life
at this time. Days likes this with an
assortment of colors reminds me that few days are all good or all bad. I’m grateful for the ways I see God working
in each situation, positive or negative, that occurred in my life. There were some sentences that jumped out at
me in these excerpts. “God is working
in my life-I know it and I trust Him. I’m
really ready to get counseling going. I need
to concentrate on it and on spending time with God in the evenings. Just God and me. I’m so ready to get on with counseling-I want
to be healed in every way. I need to
slow down and let God work.”
These words
show that I recognized who was in control.
God was working His will in my life in the good and bad to bring me to
where He desired me to be. The reason He
was able to work in my life was my willingness to trust Him and allow Him to
work. I could have tried to do it on my
own but this would have led to nothing but more heartache and failure. If I tried to force things that I thought I wanted
to happen I believe disaster would be the result. These sentences reveal a desire in me for His
hand to touch and to work in my life.
Let me make
something perfectly clear here. I take
no credit for this attitude. When I read
these words 13 years later I am astounded.
My only explanation is that through my faith and acceptance of Jesus Christ
I have His Spirit dwelling in me. He’s
the one that gave me any wisdom and/or discernment to seek His path. Scripture tells me that:
I do recall moments when words
would not come and I would say “help me, Lord!” or “I need You, Lord!” and He
would be there. I can’t explain it but
it is oh so real in my life. Things
happened (and still do) in my life that I cannot explain to this day. Answers would come in so many different ways
that I would just stand amazed at His grace, mercy, and love for me. The counseling that I was about to begin is a
major example of this. I’d never gone to
counseling before; I didn’t know what to expect. I believe the Holy Spirit placed in my heart,
soul, and mind the idea that I needed this and then God sent me an angel named
Cherie. Jeremiah 29:11 became very real
to me at this time.
I had no idea what was coming in
my life but God did and does. That’s why
it’s so much better to just leave it in His hands. Walk each day trusting Him and seeking His will. See interruptions as opportunities, endings
as beginnings, failures as lessons learned.
I’ve learned God does not waste anything we go through in our lives but
uses all for our good. One of my
favorite verses also became more real to me at this time.
I don’t know
what you are walking through at this moment but I do know that as long as we
exist on this earth we will face hard times.
Put your faith and trust in God now and when difficult times come you’ll
know Who to turn to and He will answer your cry.
Father,
There are no words
for me to express my gratitude for your faithful love and guidance.
Continue to open my
heart, mind, and soul to Your truth.
Bless Your children
with Your presence.
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen.
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